From Chaos to Covenant by Penny Gowen



A Childhood of Fear

I grew up in chaos. My father was a violent alcoholic and a former Marine who used his skills as a sharpshooter to threaten us. He told my mother that if she ever left, he wouldn't just find her—he would hunt her down. Violence was my "normal." I saw furniture flipped, supper thrown against the ceiling, and my mother nearly choked to death. Once, in a fit of rage, my father even threw me in front of an oncoming train. By the grace of God, I landed across the tracks just seconds before the train passed between us.

During those years, I was also being abused by others outside the home. They threatened to hurt my parents if I spoke up. I stayed quiet for years out of a desperate love for my family, until I finally reached a breaking point and fought back. Eventually, God provided a way out, and that abuse stopped.

The Night Everything Changed

The most important moment of my life happened when I was nine years old. During one of my father’s violent outbursts, I truly believed we were going to die. I was hiding behind a loveseat, trembling, when suddenly the atmosphere shifted.

In the middle of the screaming, I heard a calm voice say, “No.”

I felt arms wrap around me in a warm, safe embrace. I looked up into the kindest eyes I had ever seen. The chaos around me faded into a peace I had never known. He told me His name was Jesus.

He told me He was sorry for the cruelty I had endured. He knew everything that had been done to me, yet in His presence, I felt completely loved. He told me He had a special purpose for my life and that I could find Him in church. From that moment on, I never stopped searching for Him.

The Wilderness Season

As an adult, my husband and I became active in ministry, serving as the hands and feet of God. However, like any community of people, the church was not perfect. When our family faced difficulties and judgment, we felt unsupported and deeply hurt. We stepped away from the "church" for many years—not from God, but from the institution.

Even in our distance, God never left us. Years later, our home was lost in a fire, and we were homeless for over two years. We moved from place to place with our animals, living in tents and eventually a camper. It was a brutal season, but God provided for every single step.

Restoration in Patten

God eventually led us to Patten. We were far from family, but exactly where He wanted us. Through simple acts of kindness from the community and a loving church family, God began restoring what had been broken.

Coming back to church after the isolation of COVID felt like finally coming home. Little by little, we reconnected, helping and serving once again.

A Life Defined by Grace

Today, I have the privilege of preaching, leading children’s ministry, serving as a Lay Leader, and writing over 600 devotions. But more than the titles, I simply love helping people.

I know what it is to be broken. I know what it is to be terrified. And most importantly, I know what it is to be rescued. I stand here today as a child adopted by the Most High God. My life is not defined by what I went through, but by the One who brought me through it. I will spend the rest of my days serving Him and building His Kingdom.

Amen.

 

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